November 16th, 2024

Ive been thinking about joy a lot recently.
Dont be a "killjoy". Stop ruining the fun for
everyone. Im guilty of being a killjoy sometimes.
Its especially a shitty feeling when you realize it
and you are too prideful of your seriousness.
Why so serious? I believe it could be explained
by trying to be a "man". As a man, you ask
yourself why do I need to be taken serious?
If you walk around and life is a joke,
you're just a clown in the street.

Being serious, what is it for? We are problem
solvers instinctively, no? Men are no use if we
cant solve problems or "make the world a better
place". Im reminded of a great childhood American
movie "Holes". Boys must dig their own holes deep
enough to show that we can get out of them by
ourselves, then you are deemed worthy. Historically,
there was always a test for "becoming a man".
Some could argue that it is controversial to
associate a form "eugenics" with
raising a strong society.

Post-election, somebody like RFK Jr reforms
our education system to include mandatory
military service or emphasizing physical training
as a moral duty to be a citizen. At some point,
everyone realizes that there is a way to competence
and there is not other shortcut or alternative
to it. I'd like to imagine that my neighbor knows
whats best for my child and if Im gone all of sudden,
my child will be treated with dignity.

"Integrity is the integral of man." While revisiting
mathematics, I was learning the concept of an
“integral” as the continuous sum of measurements
over a domain. To precisely measure the area
under a curve, we refine these measurements into
smaller and smaller intervals—a process known as
“taking the limit.” This inspired me to reflect
the need to continuously push the limits of our
integrity, refining our character in every moment.
"Man is only created, never born."

I must admit, that I have been a bad friend, a bad
son, a bad family member, a bad partner, a bad student,
a bad worker, a bad man, all due to being a "mad" man.
I would describe that "madness" is the falling of man.
Once they hit the ground that is where our limits
are tested, when we decide as a boy to get back up
and try again. Trying is the only endeavor, it is
refinement with new tools and better insight to
"fix" the grounds we have destroyed.

Giving up is the shortcut, it may well be the end
of suffering but the coward that lurks beneath
our skins. I like to believe that there is no
other joy in life other than the "joy of survival".
The feeling of relief after a hard days of work as
the only worth of recovery is based on the
invitation of stress. "Trying" is what fuels
life and flows through everything around us like
electricity with various currents, some stronger
than others finding the path of least resistance.

To Be A Bad Mad Man